im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
so let's talk penis.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
