i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
