I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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