What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Randomize
