i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
