i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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