what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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