i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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