ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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