in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
