I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize
