those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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