Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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