I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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