I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
