$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
