Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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