I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
