I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
