She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
