I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
