Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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