How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
