fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
