hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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