just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
