don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
