you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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