Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
