You can't special order awesome
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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