direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
