Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
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