goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
