I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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