You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
