I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Randomize
