Its about making memories worth repressing
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
