i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
