how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
