I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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