Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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