So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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