Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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