But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
