remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
