I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
organizing the empties. That sober.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
