she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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