But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
