Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize