OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
