Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
